Vasectomy in young men without children
What you should know if you are a young man who wants a vasectomy and has fewer than two children
If you are under 30 and have fewer than two children, please consider the following issues before having a vasectomy:
Vasectomy – you may regret it
Among all men who have this procedure, those who have a vasectomy before the age of thirty are the group most likely to regret their decision. Especially if they have fewer than two children. These men are also more likely to seek a vasectomy reversal later on.
You may change
Many men who before thirty believe they will never want children are delighted with having offspring after thirty. Right now you may be completely convinced you will never want children, but people change, and in a few years you too may see the question of having children differently.
Women change
Women, like men, may have no desire to have children when young, but over time, especially when their friends have their own offspring, they may change their minds about motherhood.
Relationships break down
It is common knowledge that some marriages end in divorce. So in 10 years you may find you are no longer with the same partner, and a new partner may strongly want children. So if you are considering a vasectomy because your current partner wants it, remember that in 10 years her mind may change, or she may no longer be your partner.
Consider your own and your partner’s attitude to other forms of contraception. If you have no objections on principle, you might consider other solutions. But do not forget: when your partner becomes pregnant, the choice is hers, not yours.
Vasectomy should be treated as a permanent and sometimes irreversible method, because vasectomy reversal or the use of frozen semen does not always succeed.
Young men should consider depositing semen in the form of cryopreservation (freezing).
You can surely imagine meeting the perfect partner many years after your vasectomy. You fall in love with her, but you are aware that one day she will want children. You can tell her “I had a vasectomy” or “I had a vasectomy, but I deposited semen in a sperm bank for future use”. Which do you think will sound better to her? In her eyes you either did something foolish in your youth, or you made a responsible decision with the future in mind. In one case you may lose the girl; in the other you may win her heart and her respect as a responsible man. Freezing your semen can therefore be a very wise move worth the investment.
Have you discussed your decision with your parents?
If not, think about it. Yes, you are an adult, but they brought you to where you are now. How would you feel if your own son came home one day and announced he had had a vasectomy? That he had done something that would limit his potential to be a father in the future – and your potential (to be a grandfather). After years of sacrifice raising him, how would you feel if he told you he had done something that may irreversibly and profoundly affect his future, and did not have enough respect or courtesy to tell you beforehand? Instead of asking yourself whether you should tell your parents, ask yourself whether you will regret not telling them. And will you regret telling them?
A vasectomy is still your decision. But at least give your parents the chance to voice their opinion. And if they manage to talk you out of the procedure – because they know you better than any doctor – one day you may thank them for it. If they fail to convince you, they can share the cost of semen storage with you and feel better about your decision.
An important note
Having said all that, I want to point out that:
- cases where a woman “forgot” to take her pill, or
- claimed she was infertile and could not get pregnant at all, or simply
- pierces condoms
are widely known!
I also understand that after a few drinks a man’s judgement and vigilance may change. That is why some men rightly believe that the risk of not having a vasectomy may carry more serious consequences than having the procedure.
We are the architects of our own fate, and it seems the decision will be easier once we understand the whole issue in depth, together with its potential effects and consequences.
Reflections inspired by the text by Dr Douglas Stein: “Special Message for Young Men with Fewer than Two Children”
Translated by Iwona Kułaga-Kulik
The reader will find more information about vasectomy in the frequently asked questions section